In My Defense

Okay...in my defense let me say:
that I am a person who likes to write,
who enjoys a talent that God bestowed
for me to communicate both good and bad,
fact and fiction both happy and sad.


Okay, in my defense let me say:
that God uses bad situations brought on by the devil,
to turn it into something good, so others will see His glory.
I believe I can help others, called to serve others, 
give others a voice to reveal their feelings, 
as an aid to healing and moving on...


(Helping others is my moving on.
I promise to do it more carefully from now on.)


Okay, 
because my words and feelings are too honest,
too personal, too controversial to some I know, 
I WILL EDIT MY FEELINGS & HOLD MY TONGUE.


I will find that journal as a gift I once received,
and/or I will confess in prayers that only HE hears and sees.
I will go where I'm unknown and thus greater support abounds,
for I want to be a helper, but like Jesus, not on familiar grounds.


Because I love you and other close relationships,
since I respect you and you respect me, too,
I will keep my voice silent
and assume forgiveness is a reality.


The bottom line is I love you and will grant your wishes.

Mothering My Inner Child

If I were to get in touch with my 'inner child,' at what age would I befriend myself? I think I would step in the day I graduated from kindergarten. I'm looking forward to exploring myself and the way I might have turned out. I'm looking forward to mothering myself.

I am a Tree

I

am

a tree,

growing

bigger

every day.

Each new day

the seasons unfold:

morning is Spring,

afternoon is Summer,
night is Fall. Looming midnight Winter.

In the Spring,
I sprout new growth that is vibrant green.

In the Summer,
I thrive and the fruits of my boughs now form.

In the Fall, my autumn, I rest while leaves brown and fade.

In the Winter, I curl up and die, hibernate, then reborn in Spring, thus beginning my cycle once more.

I am a tree growing despite lack of water…

Wonderful Years Loving Abby

ABBY KENNARD – June 1994 – December 27, 2008
Prayer for Abby, Our Loyal Pet–14 ½ Years Old

Heavenly God, Creator of all things,
Thank you for giving us Abby, our loyal pet.
Thank You for letting Abby teach us about love.
Thank You for the wonderful memories
that we will remember to brighten our days.

We loved Abby’s shiny, soft, black hair with a bit of white.
We loved how she laid right in front of the refrigerator.
We loved how she came to the table and begged for food.
We loved giving her bacon and eggs snacks and leftovers.
We loved hearing Abby sing to the harmonica.
We loved taking Abby for walks in the doggy-park and woods.
Ray loved how Abby heard the sound of the truck tailgate go up then raced to the truck door to help make a firewood delivery. Ray loved taking Abby to McDonalds after a delivery.
We loved Abby’s kisses, howl, wet nose, and brown eyes.
We loved everything about Abby!

We loved Abby, and now we send her home to You, God.
Abby will keep You and Jesus company in heaven,
And we know that Abby is now happy to visit with:
Rosie the cat and Lady the dog,
Grammy & Grampa Kennard,
Grammy & Grampa Pearson,
Mom & Dad Kennard,
Grammy & Grampa B.,
Nana F., and all our other loved ones in heaven.
We know You love Abby, too, God,
because GOD spelled backwards is DOG.
Abby was our best friend. Now she can be Yours.
Thank You for giving us so many wonderful years loving Abby.

Amen.

Dabbling in Ho, Ho, Ho

YEARLY, 
I STRIVE TO REMEMBER 
THAT JESUS IS THE REASON FOR THE SEASON! 
CHRISTIANS SING PRAISES FOR THE NEWBORN KING;
WHILE MALLS ARE PACKED WITH SHOPPERS 
PUSHING AND SHOVING TO GRAB THE GIFTS 
THEY BELIEVE WILL MAKE THEIR LOVED ONES HAPPY.
ONE YEAR I PLAYED SANTA AT THE HAIR STUDIO
SO CHILDREN COULD COME AND 
'HELP SANTA GET HIS HAIR CUT.'
HERE I AM HOLDING MY GREAT NIECE AND NEPHEW.
STILL I REMEMBER THAT 
JESUS IS THE REASON FOR THE SEASON,
BUT ON RARE OCCASION I DABBLE IN 
HO, HO, HO!

Religion As I Feel It

More and more I've felt drawn closer to my religion. I grew up attending Sunday school throughout my thirteen years of formal schooling. I learned bible stories, endless names of who begot whom, about the twelve disciples, and most importantly, the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

I took religion as seriously back then as "all my Sunday school friends got baptized, so I did, too. It made me feel special." 
In my young adult life, I went into the world to see what if offered, or what I could give. I admit, I made some tactless mistakes...some forever regrettable. However, forgivable by Him, if I forgive others.

I met my husband at church sixteen years ago. We got married fifteen years ago. Since the day I met my husband, my belief and faith in God and Jesus skyrocketed. I now pray daily, ask for what I need, and offer myself to fulfill His will. I am surprised daily at how He talks to me and opens my eyes.

I don't like to push my religion on folks, so I won't. 
If you truly know God, I shouldn't have to push.
(Photo by Nella Masil Easter 2009)

Purple Lilac Dreams

Fond memories of the lilac scent floating in the checkerboard screen on a mid-summer's night...with a slight breeze and stars twinkling above.

Laying awake in my darkened childhood bedroom, I waited on a life waiting to be lived, dreaming that after prom and proposals came marriage.

Across bare breasts a warm, muggy breeze floating in the checkerboard screen on a mid-summer's night, the stars twinkling above...with the only good thing coming from the outside lilac trees.

Three decades later the intricate purple buds blossom, and take me back to the day when a life waiting to be lived seemed unattainable...but now is a grand fantasy. 

(Photo by Nella Masil)